AC

Well, the new site is up and running...things will piece together over the coming weeks and months more and more but it's definately a go to check out. As a result, I will no longer be posting to this site. Check out http://agapecommunities.org and join the conversation. Jon Green is spearheading the front and the site will have my blogs as well as a cornucopia of thoughts, video, fun, etc. from a collection of peeps. There's also updates and info on both the AC in OKC and KC.

Revealing

"In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my toungue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back"

-Death Cab For Cutie "Follow You Into The Dark"



"But time is on your side
It's on your side now
Not pushing you down and all around
It's no cause for concern

Come on, oh my star is fading
And I see no chance of release
And I know I'm dead on the surface
But I am screaming underneath

And time is on your side
It's on your side now
Not pushing you down and all around
No it's no cause for concern

Stuck on the end of this ball and chain
And I'm on my way back down again
Stood on a bridge, tied to a noose
Sick to the stomach
You can say what you mean
But it won't change a thing
I'm sick of the secrets
Stood on the edge, tied to a noose
You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose."

-Coldplay "Amsterdam"




"What came into existence was Life, and the Life was Light to live by.
The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness; the darkness couldn't put it out.

The Life-Light was the real thing: Every person entering Life he brings into Light.

He came to his own people but they didn't want him. But whoever did want him, who believed he was who he claimed and would do what he said, He made to be their true selves, their child-of-God selves.

No one has ever seen God, not so much as a glimpse. This one-of-a-kind God-Expression, who exists at the very heart of the Father, has made him plain as day."

John 1 (The Message)

I've been captivated by those phrases lately. "He made them to be their true selves". So many times we aren't aware of all of the clothes and things we've acquired over the years to make us think we need to get value or acceptance or status or image or whatever. Most of us wouldn't know what to say if asked "What's on your heart these days? What do you dream about?" Passion...life...love...all of these things flow from the relentless self-aware pursuit of those questions. When's the last time you dreamed? Maybe it's the blood-thinners, I'm not sure(he he), but I've been dreaming again. Who are you? Don't tell me what you do (job, parent, social status, husband, wife)...tell me who you are...how you believe (or hope) God sees you....who....are....you? We get so entrenched in life that we forget how to really live...don't we. It matters to discover that. To reveal what's God's always known and is waiting for you to discover. It's a beautiful thing to become who you are.

"Take these hands
Teach them what to carry
Take these hands
Don't make a fist
Take this mouth
So quick to criticise
Take this mouth
Give it a kiss

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, Yahweh
Still I'm waiting for the dawn

Still waiting for the dawn, the sun is coming up
The sun is coming up on the ocean
This love is like a drop in the ocean
This love is like a drop in the ocean."

-U2 "Yahweh"

"The God's Aren't Angry" AC Thursday Nights

This Thursday Night we're starting a 3 week series based off the dvd teaching of Rob Bell entitled "The God's Aren't Angry". Here's the details.

What: AC Series "The God's Aren't Angry"

When: Thursday Nights (3 Weeks Starting This Week) 7 PM (Snack and Coffee @ 6:45)

Where: Henry's Home (14606 S Alden St, Olathe, KS 66062)


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Where did the first caveman or cavewoman get the idea that somebody, somewhere existed who needed to be worshipped, appeased, and followed?
And how did the idea evolve that if you didn't say, do, or offer the right things, this being would be upset, agitated, or even angry with you?
Where did religion come from?

Video, Processing, Discussion, Music, Teaching, and Coffee will encapsulate the nights of this series. Anyone is welcome to dive into the community and conversation.



Here's a glimpse for you.

Craziness

First of all thanks so much to many many of you for your thoughts, prayers, help, food, texts, calls, visits, etc. during the last week. Amazing to be doing life with so many of you guys in a variety of ways and avenues.

I was coming back from OKC Sunday and my right calf/leg felt tight and hurt. I didn't think much of it...just thought cramp, or muscle strain. It'll go away tomorrow. Woke up Monday and it didn't go away. It was worse. Went to work early and was stretching it a good bit to get the "muscle strain" out. Told Greg, my supervisor, I think it would be good to take an extended lunch and head to the walk-in clinic to see what's up and get muscle relaxers or something. Went there...doctor checked it out...said it could be a strain or pull...could also be a blood clot...needed to rule that out. So I went to get a sonogram. I was waiting in the waiting room...of course...to see what was up...no worries at this point. Tech calls me in to the talk to the doctor. "That's weird" I thought. He told me that I had a blood clot behind the right knee and would be admitted immediately. Wow. "Okay, I'll get admitted and then we'll be good to go Tuesday or something." He said the main dr. would be waiting for me in the registration area. I walked over there and he was running down.

Moments of clarity are what a lot of people call them. You never know when they happen. You never know when you'll hear words or see something that leaves you in tears, or makes you reevaluate everything, or leaves you more determined about your life and heart, or leaves you incredibly grateful. Sometimes you can feel it coming on. Most of the time you know it after the fact.

Dr. McGinnis met me in one of the registration booths. He asked the registration lady to leave b/c he needed to talk with me now. Doors closed.

"Do you know what's happening to you?"
"I know I have a blood clot behind the right knee."
"Do you know how serious that is and could be?"
"Not really"
"Do you know who Derrick Thomas is?"
"Yep" (He was a great defensive player for the Chiefs that died tragically and quickly a few years ago.)
"This is how he died."
"Are you saying I could die from this?"
"If not treated...yes"

I've never had someone tell me anything like that before. Maybe you have. Maybe most of you have. I never have. Never been admitted to the hospital. Never had an IV. Never broke a bone. On and on. Wanna know the first thing that came to mind? This may seem obvious, but it's an incredibly deep thought. "I really don't want to die." I've rarely felt more certain about something in my life. It's a really powerful thing to, in your depths, realize that. At least, it has been for me. I feel like I'm really starting to live and pursue the things on my heart more than ever. I love my wife...incredibly. Love my relationships. Community of friends and family. Job....most of the time...he he! The depth of that realization is pretty strong. To ask, "Do I really want to live?" For some, it's tough to answer that honestly just from a physical life perspective. "I wanna live, I don't wanna die." For some, it's tough to answer that from a emotional and relational perspective. "Life not working for me...I'm dying on the inside...I want to really live life!" Whatever the place for someone. It matters to be honest about the answer. It's powerful to be honest about the answer. It has been for me.

"Well, I know I don't wanna die! So I'll do whatever you tell me to do."
"You will likely be fine because you came here. Who knows what might have happened if you hadn't. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"Completely."

I can't think him enough for being so laser with me. I appreciate that with people so much. The threat is for the blood clot to break off and then shoot up the vein to either the heart, lungs, or brain. In either case, if the clot is large enough, it's likely fatal. So I was admitted. My routine over the next few days consisted of 2 stomach shots a day along with oral blood-thinners, which I'm still on and will be for the next 4-6 months. No more stomach shots...woo-hoo! I got released from Olathe Med Thursday afternoon. Right now, I'm sitting on my couch...leg extended and resting...preparing to head back to work Wednesday. It's 11:30 as I write this...on Monday...1 week ago...you get the picture...crazy. There you go. You may find value in this. Maybe not. I just thought I would share. Again, thanks to so many of you for your visits, conversations, food, gifts, texts, etc. Nina, thanks so much for helping Raegen and I out last week in a moment's notice...you are a great friend. So many others of you that are on this journey together. Thanks. It matters. You matter.

"Mack, if anything matters then everything matters. Because you are important, everything you do is important. Every time you forgive, the universe changes; every time you reach out and touch a heart or a life, the world changes; with every kindness and service, seen or unseen, my purposes are accomplished and nothing will ever be the same again."

-taken from "The Shack"

"Now everyone dreams of a love lasting and true
But you and I know what this world can do
So let's make our steps clear that the other may see
And I'll wait for you
If I should fall behind
Wait for me."

-Bruce Springsteen "If I Should Fall Behind"



"I don't want you to die."
"That the most beautiful thing anyone's ever said to me"

-taken from "V for Vendetta"

Fainting Goats..Hilarious

William Paul Young speaking at Mariner's Church

Really really great stuff from the writer of "The Shack". Particularly him sharing his story. Enjoy.

http://www.marinerschurch.org/theshack/av/index.html##

Dr. Paul Fitzgerald-Living Loved

Paul is a friend and sojourner and a formative voice in this community of conversations and gatherings. Great stuff on his blog. Check out the recent post.

http://pauldfitzgerald.typepad.com/graceconnexion/2008/08/post.html

Live Music "Crack"

A bit of John Mayer



A bit of R & B (Chris Brown)



Country (Brad Paisley)



Boys @ Men "Water Runs Dry"...great lyrics...here's a sample...

"Now..Now they can see the tears in our eyes
But we deny the pain that lies
Deep in our hearts
Well maybe that's a pain we can't hide
'Cause everybody knows that we're both torn apart

Why do we hurt each other?
Why do we push love away?"






A bit of Coldplay



Finally...Muse

DC Parsons Pool Party!

3 P's woo-hoo! Anyway, this Wednesday night we're meeting at the Rich Parsons "Project" (no relation to Alan, that I'm aware of) for a night of swimming, grilling, games, and conversation. Anyone is invited as always. We'll get rolling at 7. We'll provide the burgers and hot dogs. You bring your own drink and a side to share (chips, pasta salad, something along those lines). Good deal. Bring any games as well. We'll likely have washers and wiffle ball along with the swim front. Directions to the Parsons abode can be found below.


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Anymore

"When I told you I was yours,
I was yours.

In this life you're the one place I call home
In this life you're the feeling I belong
In this life you're the flower and the thorn
You're everything that's fair in love and war"

-Switchfoot "Head Over Heels (In This Life)"



"Captain: Out there is our home. Home AUTO, and it's in trouble. I can't just sit here and do nothing. That's all I've ever done! That's all anyone has ever done on this blasted ship.
AUTO: In space we will survive.
Captain: I don't want to survive, I want to live!"

-from the movie "WALL-E" (which is phenomenal incidentally)

"Where the Spirit of God is there is freedom. And all of us, with unveiled faces are being transformed."

-Paul to the Corinthians

"The kingdom of God is not coming with things that can be observed; nor will they say, "Look, here it is!' or "There it is!' For, in fact, the kingdom of God is among you."

-Jesus to the religious leaders of the day

It's a fascinating paradox really. I've had so many conversations with people and read so many things that describe the level of frustration with the church institution(s). On the other hand, I've experienced so many people who are asking deeply spiritual questions and believing in God and the message of Jesus. The fact that "The Shack" is #1 New York Times bestseller tells the story there. So many people are sensing something more.

I've come to believe that every person on the planet was created to know they're loved...they're accepted...and they're valuable. Intrinsically loved. Completely accepted. Uniquely valuable. The majority of the population of planet Earth tries to pursue and acquire those things....often from each other...at the expense of others often. A belittling remark. A shaming stare. An unforgiving heart. An explosion of anger. That's why I think the message and heart of Jesus is central to the way life's supposed to be. The way he interacted with people. He openly welcomed the social outcasts. The people the religious system of the day shamed and excluded. He openly chided those religious leaders who were giving God a bad name. I'm coming to believe that the heart of the message of Jesus was and is "You don't have to hide anymore." You're loved. You're accepted. You've valuable...as you are. You don't have to play the game.

The truth is that there aren't many safe places around. There aren't many places where you can be honest...experience love...experience acceptance..understand value. Unfortunately, the top unsafe place on most people's list would likely be the church. Rightfully so, in many cases.

There was a case of a pastor and well-known evangelical leader a few years back that was confronted with news from a gay prostitute that the pastor, despite all of his bashing the lifestyle throught the years, was actually "hooking up" with the prostitute periodically and doing cocaine. After multiple denials, the pastor admitted that everything the prostitute had said was true. He was asked to step out of his position at a prominent church in Colorado and pursued healing. The unfortunate reality for him and for so many in various avenues isn't that those "hook ups" happened, although it does cost a lot of pain, it's that he had created a culture that would not be safe for the shame and pain of his life.

We need more safe places. I happen to believe that's the way things should be. Safe people create safe places. Safe simply means a place where every persons' story is valued. Our arms open wide to others to the degree that we believe God's arms are open wide to us...in the depths of us...do we believe that?

'"The darkness hides the true size of fears and lies and regrets,' Jesus explained. 'The truth is they are more shadow than reality, so they seem bigger in the dark. When the light shines into the places they live inside you, you start to see them for what they are.'

'But why do we keep all that crap inside?' Mack asked.

'Because we believe it's safer there. And, sometimes, when you're a kid trying to survive, it really is safer there. When you grow up on the outside, but on the inside you're still that kid in the dark cave surrounded by monsters, and out of habit you keep adding to your collection. We all collect things we value, you know?'

This made Mack smile. He knew Jesus was referring to something Sarayu had sadi about collecting tears. 'So, how does that change, you know, for somebody who's lost in the dark like me?'

'Most often, pretty slowly,' Jesus answered. 'Remember, you can't do it alone. Some folks try with all kinds of coping mechanisms and mental games. But the monsters are still there, just waiting for the chance to come out.'

'So what do I do now?'

'What you're already doing, Mack, learning to live loved. It's not an easy concept for humans.'"

-taken from "The Shack" by William P. Young

"In this life I'm stubborn to the core
In this life I've been burning after more
We both know what these open arms are for
You're everything that's fair."

-Switchfoot "Head Over Heels (In This Life)"

You don't have to hide anymore.

"The Shack" Interview

William Paul Young wrote the best book I've ever read. I quoted it numerous times on this blog and at DC. Many of you have read it and found immense value in it. I'm not typically a viewer of the 700 Club but this interview was pretty good. Really great stuff on dealing with shame and "how we run to rebellion or religion when we don't understand how much we're loved". Check out William Paul Young's blog at www.windrumors.com.

Agape Communities

It's been a bit since I've posted on here...my apologies. Lots of stuff to talk about. As many of you know, I'm starting a new conversation/group of communities that I'm calling "agape communities". At the end of the day it's safe environments and outlets for people to process and pursue the reality of "God is Love". This will look like many evolving creative fronts. We've been having and will continue to have DC on Wednesday nights in Olathe (likely the name will be changed to AC at some point). We are pointing towards starting an AC in Oklahoma City in September. More details on that in the near future. There are also rumors of other environments in the creative process around the Olathe area. A blogsite will be up that will have my thoughts as well as thoughts from others in the community at large and links to ideas and musings. We're working on t-shirts as well that will reflect what we believe is the heart of the message of God in Christ. Also will be working on a litany of ideas and tools to help awaken to the "God is Love" front or help guide interested people to AC's where community is there in that capacity. It will also be an umbrella for creative outlets and ideas with like-hearted people. Lots more on this later. I'm looking at a meeting in late August to chat more, unveil more, and engage interested hearts in pursuing and creating. If you have q's or would like to grab coffee, partake of a Boulevard Wheat, or dance with a Cohiba Red Dot over conversation throw me a line at pbhl@yahoo.com. Exciting times.

Steve Jobs' Stanford Address

The post is quite lengthy but I think it's incredibly inspiring. It's the 2005 Stanford Commencement address. I'm a big fan of Steve Jobs on many levels but most of the reasons are encapsulated in this address.

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says.

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation.

Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list,got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5" deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copiedthe Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run thecompany with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. It was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept: No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. Thank you all very much.

"What does it profit a man, if he gains the whole world (all that it has to offer) and forfeits his soul (who he essentially is and was made to become)."

-Jesus

"Light"ning

"That will be the time
That everything will shine
So bright it makes u colorblind"

-"Diamonds and Pearls" by Prince

"I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played it till my fingers bled
It was the summer of '69"

-"Summer of 69" by Brian Adams




There was a fascinating display last week. I believe it was Thursday night...incredible storms. Very windy. Intense to say the least. I woke up the next morning and it seemed that everything was more alive. Leaves and grass seemed more green. The sky was radiantly blue. Clarity.

So many times, it can seem, I think, that the storm is everything. I don't pretend to know all of the dynamics of why things happen when they do and how they do. I have experienced seasons that seem very much like that storm.

Minutes seem like hours. It can't end quickly enough.

I've also experienced that colorful seasons...seasons of life, real life, seem much more breathtaking and lovely and timely and hopeful after the stormy seasons.

Hours seem like minutes. We don't want it to end.

Maybe you're in a really stormy season right now. It might seem like it's gone on forever. My prayer is that you know deep within you...it's just a season. Days of life and color and hope are a few pages away. It seems that we appreciate and value and embrace those days more after we've went through the stormy seasons.

Maybe you're in a really "lively" season right now. You are finding life and pursuing things that give you life and ultimately others. You've living the reality of "being" loved by God. It's a good season. Embrace it. Fully. Share with others. Give life. Give hope. Live loved.

"I know the wind's so cold
I've seen the darkest days
But now the winds I feel
Are only winds of change

I've been through the fire
And I've been through the rain
But I'll be fine

'Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's going to bend nor break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith of the heart"

-"Faith of the Heart" by Rod Stewart (couldn't find an actual live video so here's the song behind clips of the movie "Homeward Bound")

Hilarious Bible Verses....

These verses are hilarious...if you have one to add...please leave in the comment section.

"Behold I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces."

Malachi 2:3

"Hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat they're own dung, and drink their own urine with you?"

2 Kings 18:27

Just a few funny ones to bring a smile to your face....hopefully.

Yep

You gotta love free enterprise?

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,363471,00.html#

"1 Coin? Are You Serious?"

These really don't get old! Every time I see them..."funny for the masses!"

For Sale?

"She parks her car outside of my house and
Takes her clothes off,
Says she's close to understanding Jesus."

-"Round Here" by Counting Crows



"The first will be last and the last will be first."

-Jesus

"If Jesus came back and saw what's going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing up."

-Woody Allen

"Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducess (religious leaders)"

-Jesus

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

-Jesus

"Love your neighbor as yourself."

-Jesus

How much of my life has been spent trying to acquire value? Identity? Love? Life? Acceptance? The crazy thing about the message of Jesus is that it speaks to the core of who we are as human beings and what we've created in a western culture. Our culture seems to say that you get value through your job...because of your kids...because you're married...because of what you own (house, car, assets)....because of...you get the picture. The message of Jesus speaks to a different reality. You have value because you are created and are a human being. You are loved and accepted, not because of your job...not because of working at a church...not because of your parenting skills...not because of what you own...not because of your spouse or family...you are loved and accepted because you ARE loved and accepted. That's God's "economy".

Have you ever met someone who wasn't impressed by people who were obviously trying to be impressive? Have you even met someone who was completely human and completely content in who they were? It's so foreign to most, if not all of us, to look at ourselves and others through the "valued and accepted" perspective, isn't it. It's so hard to believe for ourselves. How much energy has been spent in the pursuit of something that we've always had in God's economy?



Have you ever found yourself getting sleep...but not rest?

It's so beautiful to see people who are aware of their "be-lovedness". The game doesn't work. You learn to see through it. You see how it impacts people. You see how it's impacted you. You see how things could be. You see how things are meant to be. God loves you...just as you are. God loves you...and accepts you...and values you...just as you are....where you are. Just....as....you....are. It takes repetition to internalize it. We get the other message all the time...all day...in all avenues...sometimes from so-called "God" avenues. If you know people who have learned and are learning to live in this reality...hang out with them...listen...be. There's a much cooler story unfolding all around us. May we learn to see.

"Round here we're carving out our names
Round here we all look the same
Round here we talk just like lions
But we sacrifice like lambs
Round here she's slipping through my hands
Sleeping children better run like the wind
out of the lightning dream
Mama's little baby better get herself in
out of the lightning
She says It's only in my head
She says Shhh I know it's only in my head"

-"Round Here" Counting Crows

"The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand."

-Jesus

Post It Notes

Thought-provoking stuff from Dr. Paul Fitzgerald.

http://pauldfitzgerald.typepad.com/graceconnexion/2008/05/marriage---two.html

Will The Real Friction Please Stand Up?

"And with all that love, he was completely honest. Yet even when his actions or words exposed people's darkest motives, they didn't feel shamed. They felt safe, really safe with him."

-taken from "So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore"

"And you're like a 90's Kennedy
And you're really a million years old
You can't fool me
They'll throw opinions like rocks in riots
And they'll stumble around like hypocrites
Is it just me or is it dark in here?"

-"No Pressure Over Cappucino" Lyrics by Alanis Morissette



Maybe it's a Teddy Bear

"I was so young."

Maybe it's a Bible.

Jill grew up in a very strict religious home. She knew more about what she couldn't do then what she could. Freedom? Freedom? It seemed to her that people that knew God actually knew very little about freedom. At least the people she knew that said they knew God. Her parents really didn't want to know her life. They didn't want to know the awkward conversations she had had with her church leaders that had nothing to do with God and were ridiculously inappropriate. They didn't want to know about her lifestyle or drug abuse. She knew what happened to people like her. Don't rock the boat...play nice...give them what they want. A smile. A nice dress. Pat answers. They also didn't know the depth of bitterness she had towards them and ultimately God for the whole thing. Everytime she saw the large Bible on the coffee table it triggered her. It still raged.

Maybe it's a watch
-"You never have time for me!"

Maybe it's a belt.

That sound still makes him jump. People wonder why he never wears one around his pants. When his pants are screaming "wear a belt!", 1 foot past his waist. How many times did it happen? Dad in his anger. Mom running to the bedroom in seeming indifference. On average, he figured, he was whipped 20 times each time...sometimes less...sometimes more. It started when he was 8...what do you do with that at eight years old? It continued on through high school. Until....he never saw love in his Dad's eyes. Never....when they were happening. He still has scars to prove the magnitude of them. He didn't know the state could do something about it. He didn't know it was wrong for his Mom to silently cry in the bedroom. She felt just as trapped as he did. He didn't know it wasn't right or normal. He didn't know he didn't deserve it. He didn't know it wasn't his fault. He didn't know he didn't deserve it. He didn't know. Deep down....it boiled. He still doesn't really know.

Maybe it's Money

"Is that all you care about?"

Maybe it's a picture frame with someone "lost".

>Luengele had lost 9 family members to AIDS....9 brothers and sisters...Nine!

>Tony lost his wife tragically.

>She lost her innocence and heart.

>He lost his job.

>They lost their children.

>Sam lost his home.

The picture in the frame is so much more than just a picture. Only they could really know how much that moment...that season...changed their lives.

Maybe it's "the bottle"

"Why does Joe drink so much?"

"I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM!"

Maybe it's food


What....are you holding onto?

It matters so much what we think about God and Jesus in these seasons in these realities of our lives. Is it safe? Is God really loving? Does He care? "Sometimes I might not hope He cares or knows about these things...most of the time...deep down...I hope He does. I hope what I hope about Him is true."

"You know, you don't have to live like this." He whispers

"I love you no matter what. No matter what."

How much pain and shame has been caused by that thing? What would it be like to trust that in someone else's hands? What would it be like to trust? That's where so many of us are at isn't is? If we trace the friction back...it leads to these moments often...or seasons. I don't know what you've done. I don't know what's been done to you. I don't know what you think about yourself. I know...I know...God loves you. Period. You...can...be...more...free. You can grow in the journey of that. Life is there.

"And may God bless you in your travels in your conquests and queries."

-"No Pressure Over Cappuccino"

Friction, Clothes, and Hope

"'The darkness hides the true size of fears and lies and regrets,' Jesus explained.' 'The truth is they are more shadow than reality, so they seem bigger in the dark. When the light shines into the places they live inside you, you start to see them for what they are.'

'But why do we keep all that crap inside?' Mack asked.

'Because we believe it's safer there. And, sometimes, when you're a kid trying to survive, it really is safer there. Then you grow up on the outside, but on the inside you're still that kid in the dark cave surrounded by monsters, and out of habit you keep adding to you collection. We all collect things we value, you know?'

'So, how does that change, you know, for somebody who's lost in the dark like me?'

'Most often, pretty slowly,' Jesus answered. 'Remember, you can't do it alone. Some folks try with all kinds of coping mechanisms and mental games. But the monsters are still there, just waiting for the chance to come out.'

'So what do I do know?'

'What you're alread doing, Mack, learning to live loved. It's not an eas concept for humans.'"

-taken from "The Shack" by William Young

"But this won't work as well as the way it once did
cuz I want to decide between survival and bliss
and though I know who I'm not I still don't know who I am
but I know I won't keep on playing the victim

These precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I was a kid
and parting with them is like parting with a childhood best friend

I've spent so long firmly looking outside me
I've spent so much time living in survival mode."

-"Precious Illusions" by Alanis Morisette



We spend so much time talking about things that don't really matter...that don't really change us...that don't really change our relationships...that don't really change how we see God...how we see others...how we see ourselves. Have you ever been in a season of friction and gone to a place, maybe a church, and you hear the same thing again and you leave thinking..."Is anyone talking about what's really going on in my life? In people's lives?"

Sometimes it can seem that the things that really matter are the style of our car, the type of clothes, the job status, how well we are seen in a religious community, etc. It can seem that way. If we listen enough, we can come to believe that those are the things that matter. Yet when you really talk to people and you talk about this (friction)...you know that for nearly everyone there is stuff deeper. Beneath the surface.

What is the friction? We know it's there. We know, in some part, how it affects us. What is it?

In letters to people in the cities of Ephesus and Colossae, Paul talks about beneath the surface stuff. He describes them like clothes that we wear. Put off...put away things that don't work. Ways of doing life that don't give life...that don't work.

*Bitterness (Thick...heavy...deep...the root of a plant was the picture...somebody hurt me...somebody lied about me...I've lived with it for years...it shows if you really know what to look for...bitterness...rooted deep within)

*Anger (Not the healthy, "innocent kids are dying" anger...but it's the "I don't really like my life but I can't say it" anger...I don't want to deal with my stuff so I lash out at others...often those I say I "love" the most...rage even sometimes...anger)

*Slander (Seems innocent..."Oh I didn't really mean it...smile...attack with words defensively...never to the person themselves...subtlely...smile to their face..."I'm doing great"....if anger is cutting someone down actively...slander is passively)

*Unforgivness ("I'll never forgive you for what you did! You ruined my life!"...very...strong...words...you may secretly cultivate malice or deep ill-will toward someone...to the point that if you found out they were injured in an accident...it wouldn't affect you...but it does affect you...you know it does...that's why it's so hard to talk about this...why would it be hard to talk about if it weren't a player in your life...doesn't mean forget or okaying something...forgive...release...)

Know what it's like to wear these? We do our best to hide it...but we wear it.

How much have these "clothes" limited your life? Kept out love?

The real question is...deep down...what do I wish I were wearing? Maybe it's peace. Maybe it's confidence. Maybe it's forgivness. Maybe it's purpose. Maybe it's joy. Are the "clothes" I'm wearing giving life to me and others or taking life from me and others? What would it be like to wear the "clothes" we want to wear? The words we want to believe. The heart. It's hard to think about living in the land of forgiving, if you're lived all of your life and built your home in the country of bitterness.

Dr. Paul Fitzgerald...DC...4/30

The gig starts around 7. Jay will be grilling around 6:15 if you want to bring food to be grilled along with drinks. Paul is head of Heart Connexion Ministries. He's a friend and frequent speaker and sojourner at DC and other conversations. Check out his blog here.


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Blessed Friction...Dos

"Have no fear
For giving in
Have no fear
For getting over
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Then never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open... wide...

Say what you need to say."

-John Mayer "Say"



"Most birds were created to fly. Being grounded for them is a limitation within their ability to fly, not the other way around."

"You, on the other hand, were created to be loved. So for you to live as if you were unloved is a limitation, not the other way around."

"Living unloved is like clipping a bird's wings and removing it's ability to fly. Not something I want for you." There's the rub Mack didn't feel particularly loved at the moment.

"Mack, pain has a way of clipping our wings and keeping us from being able to fly. And if left unresolved for very long, you can almost forget that you were ever created to fly in the first place.

-from "The Shack" by William Young

*Tom could feel it building for years. It seemed that he has successfully masked the depths inside for much of his life. For whatever reasons lately, in the past 2 years, it was harder and harder. Maybe it was when his wife told him how "she didn't want to do life like that anymore". Maybe it was when he would find himself in his car crying on his way to work. Maybe it was the mask of indifference he wore everytime he saw a picture of his dad. If you could see Tom's life over a period of time...you could see it...you could feel it...building...building...friction...building...anger...building. The janitor at work had no idea that he would, unfortunately, provide the avenue for years of anger and frustration with 1 misplaced mopstroke. The real question was what would happen with Tom now. Would he dive into the why? Would he retreat and defend even more?

*Laura grew up in church, she knew the answer to the questions. The questions were bigger than the answers she knew though. In fact, the answers weren't suffice. Deep down, thought she wouldn't know to say it, there was a draw a "calling" if you will that there's a bigger story than what she'd been told. A bigger God. A bigger love. A bigger life. More real. More authentic. More human. More...faith. Everytime she went back to her home church she felt the friction. Everytime she heard certain songs or certain phrases by, likely, well-meaning people...friction. Almost, intrinsically, she knew what rang true with her soul and she knew what didn't. She knew the shame, fear, and hiding that what she grew up learning about God has led her too. She would never go there again. She didn't want anyone else to either. She happened across a few books that peaked her interest and she started having conversations with a couple of people who spoke like they had been through the exact season of faith friction she was in. It was really tough...good things were around the corner.

Beneath the religion. Beneath the tradition. Beneath the "because we always have". The friction is there. The questions are there. The road to life...real life...abundant life is there. It's okay to be afraid. Just know that no matter where you are. No matter what friction you're dealing with or have dealt with or will deal with in your life, you can be honest about it and walk through it because you are loved. Loved no matter what. Period. Talk with people about the friction in your life you've walked through. Your story. You never know the value others may find in it. Talk with people about the friction you are currently living with. You never know the value you may find in others story or perspective.

Great Interview with Robert Downey Jr.

"I think of myself as a shopkeeper or a beekeeper. I'm learning the business of building a life. Instead of getting instant gratification by getting high, I push my nose as far into the grindstone as I can. The honey, the reward, is the feeling of well-being, the continuity, the sense that I am walking toward a place I want to go."

http://news.yahoo.com/page/parade-rdj/rdj

Lyrics...

Completely random stuff here. Everytime I hear this song it brings a smile. Incredibly creative lyrics. You "meet Virginia". Hard to beat "her confidence is tragic, but her intuition's magic". Great stuff. Feel free to post a comment on these lyrics or your faves.

"She doesn't own a dress
Her hair is always a mess,
You catch her stealin' she won't confess
She's Beautiful.

Smokes a pack a day, but wait,
That's me, but anyway
She doesn't care a thing
About that hair,
She thinks I'm beautiful
Meet Virginia

She never comprimises,
Loves babies and surprises,
wears high heels when
she exercises
Ain't it beautuiful
Meet Virginia

Well she wants to be the Queen
Then she thinks about her scene
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the Queen"

Daddy wrestles alligators
Mama works on carborators
Her brother is a fine mediator
For the president
And here she is again on the phone
just like me hates to be alone
we just like to sit at home
and rip on the President
Meet Virginia, Mmmm...

Well she wants to live her life
Then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back, as she screams
"I don't really wanna live this life"

She only drinks coffee at midnight
When the moment is not right
Her timing is quite, unusual
You see her confidence is tragic, but her
Intuition magic And the shape of her body?
Unusual

Meet Virgina I can't wait to
Meet Virginia, yeah e yeah hey hey hey

Well she wants to be the queen and
then she thinks about her scene
Well she wants to live her life
then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the queen"
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna live this"

-"Meet Virginia" by Train

Blessed Friction and the Heart of the Matter

"And you are reaching
Something that is beating
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before
Over and again
Racing out of my skin
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before
Til I noticed you, yeah."

"Noticed" by Mute Math



"He who has ears to hear, let him hear."

-Jesus

We don't change until the friction of the present is greater than the fear of the future. Countries don't change until the friction of the present is greater than the fear of the future. People don't change until....Families don't change until...I don't change until the friction of the present if greater than the fear of the future. We each have stories rooted in this reality. We each have been in season or moments in our lives where the friction is building...we know it. Maybe we believe we can't acknowledge it. The friction doesn't have to be similar in people. In fact one person's friction can be another person's future. At the end of the day, if we're honest with ourselves...we know what is...and we know what isn't.

Jesus was amazing a bringing awareness to this in people. He knew and valued the reality of friction for change in lives. Sometimes he would simply state what was "obvious" in lives. Other times he initiated friction in people and governments and empires. It's not a matter of friction in our lives...the question is what do we do when the friction builds and builds. What do you do? Do you walk through it?

Some people spend their entire lives running from questions...from friction. Why are you so angry? What do you feel like you're losing in forgiving? Why do you continue to enable people to abuse you (physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.)? What are you afriad of? Why do you believe God believes that about you?

We can spend so much time talking about things that may not really be the things that really matter. The things that give life to us and others. The things that give freedom to us and others. It's been my experience that real life happens in the friction and the "life after walking through the friction" moments. If you've been through it...you know. Maybe you find yourself right there....right now. Maybe you found yourself there recently...a year ago...a month ago...2 years ago...and you know...you know. Maybe you have been angry or bitter or whatever for a long time...maybe you can't remember the last time that you experienced a season of life...a literal season...of...life....of love. But maybe deep down the thought that "I don't have to live like this" has not died. The fire still flickers.

Whatever the case we're diving in over the next 6-7 weeks at DC. Blessed friction and the heart of the matter is what we're calling the "dive". We'll look at these realities and more in our own lives. The hope is that life would happen. Love would happen. Awakening would happen. Hearts would beat. Hope would happen. I will be teaching most nights. Dr. Paul Fitzgerald (www.heartconnexion.org) will be teaching the last few nights in April. We're diving in. Details are below. Anyone is welcome.

DC
Series: "Blessed Friction and the Heart of the Matter"
When: Wednesday Nights (7-8:30 PM)
Where: Henry Home (14606 S. Alden)

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"Shack"ing Up

Beautiful quote for the day from "The Shack" by William Young (which currently holds the "best book I've ever read" title in my world)!

"If anything matters then everything matters. Because you are important, everything you do is important. Every time you forgive, the universe changes; every time you reach out and touch a heart or a life, the world changes; with every kindness and service, seen or unseen, my purposes are accomplished and nothing will ever be the same again."

Random videos for you!

"What in the name of me is going on in here!"



"'Tell me are you a Christian, child?'
I said, 'Mam, I am tonight.'"

Great Song.

Marc Cohn - Walking in Memphis

Hide and Seek...

"The man and his wife were both naked and unashamed."

-Genesis 2:25

So we find in the Genesis story, that Adam and his wife (no mention of a ceremony...interestingly) Eve were originally naked and unashamed. They were created that way. There were 2 "named" trees with fruit. You got the "tree of the knowledge of good and evil" (fascinating stuff, the desire to label things good and evil)...and the "tree of life". I could spend a good bit of time talking about how we still choose the "good and evil" tree today in so many ways over life. Nevertheless, God says...you can have any tree...but the "good and evil" one...you will die...something in you will die. Serpent comes along and frames the story differently from God. He also frames the choices differently. "You won't die. You'll actually have your eyes opened. You'll be more alive." Interesting. Eve believed the serpent...took the "good/evil" fruit and ate it and passed it onto Adam. The Genesis story then says that they "eyes of them both were opened"...which is what the serpent promised...but that they "knew that they were naked" and they "sewed fig leaves together" and made "apronlike girdles". Amazing. They hide. Eventually, God comes walking around and they hide behind trees. Fig leaves with each other...trees with God (thicker I suppose). Adam says "I heard the sound of you walking around in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked...so I hid." Fear. Shame. Hiding. Lies. It's all there. We see it flesh out not just in the Genesis story but in life.

I'm afraid...of what you'll think...of what you'll do...of what you think about me...that you won't love me...that you won't accept me...that you'll act like you love me but talk about me behind by back and I can't trust you. I'm ashamed...of what I've done...who I think I am...you couldn't love me...I'm human...I've been hurt...I've hurt people...I'm ashamed....I'm defective...I'm not enough.

"I know the truth about me."

"If you really knew me, you wouldn't love me."

"I'm not worth it."

"I have to acquire value. I have to acquire acceptance."

So we hide...in our work...in our abusive drinking...in our drug abuse... in our sarcasm...in our religious activity...in our words...in someone else's life...in our secret relationships...sometimes in our smiles...on and on and on. It's a game we learn as kids but perfect as adults.

I'm coming to believe that the heart of the message of Christ is to invite people out of hiding into life. God is inviting people our of darkness into light. Out of lies into truth. Out of death into life. Out of the system of fear and shame and chains into freedom and love...real love. The kind of love that brings freedom and casts out fear.

"You will know the truth and the truth will set you free."

-Jesus

The cool thing is that we are becoming people who encourage others out of hiding by journeying down that road ourselves or we are becoming people who, often without knowing it, encourage people to hide, by not journeying down that road ourselves. Are I connected with people and places that encourage me and enlighten me to come out of hiding? That's a pivotal question. It's not a solitary moment...it's a journey. If you find yourself in the blessed friction of that place, you gotta know, you're not alone. You never have been alone. You never will be alone. God is always with you, of course, but there are so many others who are finding life by...strangely...giving up the game and calling it the load of crap that it is. That it's not what God's doing in this world...in fact it's what God is undoing in the world to ultimately make things right.

It's in that journey that we find the way we see the world changes. The way we see God changes. The way we believe God sees us changes. The way we believe God sees everyone changes...for the better...on all accounts. We begin to see what is real...what has always been true. We take off the shades we've been see things through and hiding behind to find a world of "beloveds" who may or may not know that reality. We find color. We find beauty. We find love. We find life. It all starts when we decide we don't want to play the game anymore...we want to play for real.

You

"She said 'If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see'
She said 'Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me'

-Lifehouse "Whatever It Takes"



"Evey Hammond: Who are you?
V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a mask.
Evey Hammond: Well I can see that.
V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation, I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is."

-from the movie "V for Vendetta"

"Love your neighbor as yourself."

-Jesus (Matthew 22:39)





The truth is that it was just a breakup...but it felt like so much more. "Just a breakup!". She thinks. Jonie put her world into him. She didn't feel like she mattered until she met him. The fact that he didn't treat her well was beside the point. She mattered now. He mattered to people. She was with him. She mattered to people. The real truth was...she didn't matter to him. The question "Who am I?" was so lost....in a thick fog.

Tony was a great athlete. A fierce fighter. Every time he knocked out some other hopeless boxer, he could feel the anger from the punches he took when he was younger. He knew then, it was either him...or his mom...or his younger sister. His dad has pursued healing roads and had softened up immensely. It make Tony even more angry. His career was taking off...his heart was leather...his wife knew the real truth and often paid for it. The pulse of forgivness was beating deep beneath the leather veneer of his heart. "What was he like before the anger?" He wondered privately. "Who am I?" swam below the surface.

How much energy have I spent in my life at "impression management"? Why did I do it? I didn't like what God made. The truth is that I'm still coming to value the creation of me. It's a process. On clear days, I'm confident, light-hearted, and loving. On foggy days, I'm timid, unsure, and second guessing myself. I've had clearer days lately. I've noticed that the comparison road is a subtle one. It can start as a suggestion on a foggy day and lead to a personal melt-down. I think that road can vary for each person. What I'm learning is that it matters immensely to not give life to those voices that would dare to compare. God doesn't want me to be anything or anyone other that me...the real me. Beneath the crap...the lies...the veneer...the layers...whatever it is for you...God wants you to be you. That's how things are supposed to work. I'm supposed to be me. You're supposed to be you. Jesus is supposed to be fully Jesus (which He was). Jonie is supposed to be Jonie. Tony is supposed to be the real Tony. The eternal idea is that when you are you...you make things better. Life happens. Light happens. Love happens.

I hear so many stories of people who've been told that God is in the clone-making business. That they should be the prototype. The way they dress. The way they talk. The way they sneeze. Yada...yada...yada. How freaking boring and uncreative! Jesus was truly himself and he lived 30 years as a son and an obscure carpenter. He spent 3 years telling people, in his way, about who God really was and showing them. A lot of people who thought they had God figured out didn't like it or him...they ultimately killed him.

May you be who you truly are! May you work through all of the things in life that have been built on your heart of body or life that would make that journey of discovery harder. May you surround yourself with people and community who bring the real you...out. May you begin to ask how things would change in the world if you were yourself. May you quit playing the comparison game. The truth is no one wins in the comparison game...no one. Everyone gets devalued. Period. May you realize what God realized then and still belives today when He said "It is good!"

"We are the ones we've been waiting for."

-Barack Obama

"Evey Hammond: I don't want you to die.
V: That's the most beautiful thing you could have ever given me."

-from the movie "V for Vendetta"

"Everything is Spiritual" DC Series...

We are starting a new "dive" at DC this Wed night. We're big fans of Rob Bell and have dug his teachings for "many moons". We're taking his teaching DVD called "Everything is Spiritual" and rolling with a new series on it this Wed night. Here's an excerpt to whet the appetite!



*DC meets every Wed night at 14606 S. Alden (check the map below) @ 7PM. Coffee, snacks, and a children's environment is provided. We use a variety of tools and learning experiences to help people experience God's heart. (Teaching, processing, music, video, questions, etc.)


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Umbrella

You've probably figured out I dig live music and those "moments" that seem to happen with the right song and the right concert or gathering or whatever. Could be 3 people...could be 30...could be 300...or in this case 15000. Great song...cool lyrics...cool moment...I think. See if you can play it only once! May it give you hope.

"These fancy things,
will never come in between
You're part of my entity
Here for Infinity
When the war has took it's part
When the world has dealt it's cards
If the hand is hard
Together we'll mend your heart
Because ...

When the sun shines
We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath
I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella"

-"Umbrella" Rihanna and Jay Z

"In"courage thoughts....

*I've never had someone tell me "Quit encouraging me!" Not once. If it's sincere encouragment...I've never had it happen. I know I've touched on this before...Paul in the Bible said to "encourage one another and build one another up". There's a fascinating correlation with encouraging (putting courage into someone to be who they're created to be) someone and building them up. I've never met someone that said to me "I would like to be hopeless...that's what I'm shooting for in life." We want to believe better about ourselves. When others come along and believe what God has always believed and reinforce that...it matters. It changes us. May that increase.

*Along the same lines, I think it's sad and fascinating that the times where we fully and wholly celebrate and properly remember a person's life and value is......after they die. Why not take the time to do that while people are alive and around to embrace it and enjoy it and soak it up. Can you imagine the impact on people if we did that more today? Interesting, nonetheless.

*I keep coming back to the life-changing and healing power of forgivness. It's amazing the amount of bitterness we can carry around and "unlove". It's also amazing how those realities can be tied back to simply not being willing to forgive someone....maybe ourselves. Much, much more on this later.

Enough?

"Take your shower, shine your shoes
Well, you got no time to lose
You are young men you must be living
Go now you are forgiven."

-"The General" Dispatch



"It's one of those days, where it's a minute away from snowing and there's electricity in the air.

This bag was just...dancing with me. That's the day I realized that there's this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know that there's no reason to be afraid. Ever."

-"American Beauty"



"The Matrix is a system Neo. You have to understand that most people aren't ready to be unplugged."

-"The Matrix"



"In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was presently originally with God. All things were made and came into existence through Him: and without Him was not even one thing made that has come into being. In Him was Life, and the Life was the Light of men. And the Light shines on in the darkness, for the darkness has never overpowered it.

There it was--the true Light coming into the world that illumines every person."

-John 1:1-5, 9

Jim couldn't get the image out of his head or the shame out of his heart. He kept telling himself that he did the best he knew how to do back then. Was it? No one knew the pain he caused. No one knew the shame he lived with. He went to church every week....not for community...not for love...but to feed the sadistic self-talk that was running amock within him. "God knows....oh yes...He knows, what you've done!" No person could love him if he told them, he thought. God certainly would take that a couple of notches higher on the condemnation scale. "I can't be loved if I'm known." For many years, the same dark place. The worst of it was when the fears paired up. Relationships fail...."It's because of what I've done"....job loss..."I deserve it"...on and on. It's enough to have a drink a bit of "You couldn't love me if you knew me", but add that to "I'm afraid their won't be enough" or worse yet, "I'm afriad I'm not enough"...you can get a deadly poison real quick.

What would happen if Jim found people and a God that genuinely knew him and loved him? What would happen if Jim allowed love and light to illumine those dark places? What are the dark places in your world? Are their things...moments...that, if you're honest you can't imagine really being loved, in light of...maybe "in spite of" but certainly not "in light of"? What do we do with our shame?

There is the constant comparison in the New Testament section of the Bible between love and light. Light of love in our lives brings life. We go on various "value hunts" or "love hunts" in our lives hoping to find something or someone that gives us what we secretly need or think we need. It's interesting to think about why we go on the "hunt" to begin with. It's like there's some magnetic pull deep inside of us to find it. To find love in light of our shame. We have moments and when they happen we remember...we cherish. A look....a kiss....a word....a song....a movie....a place. They speak to something bigger. Something deeper weaving it's way through life. Unfortunately, the same it true on the other end of the scale. Shame...we remember...a look...a word...a song...a place...a person. Here's the deal....When we allow the light of love to enter our lives...to illumine our hearts and minds...ultimately it will encounter shame....and fear...and darkness. I'm convinced gang, that when real love, as in "God is love", meets shame...love wins everytime. Everytime. Love trumps fear. Light expels the darkness. "Love never fails." Ever. Never? Never. May you find the love of God in you and through you in this moment in new ways. May you believe again. May you trust again. Never fails. May you find, in the words of the old song, "the things of this world will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace." Shalom.

Amazing Book...

So I was referred a book recently by a good friend, who said that it was a "paradigm shifter". I'm always up for a good stretch so I dove in. An absolutely hope-giving, heart-opening book. One of the best books I've ever read. Here goes "So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore" by Jake Colson is the name. It's a conversation with a frustrated associate pastor and a spiritual sojourner. Nothing I can say can adequtely describe how good it's done my heart to read this. I'll give a few quotes.

*"But why can't we see how this game is so destructive? Others are being lied to!"

"They don't want to see it Jake. Religious systems prey on people's insecurity. They haven't learned how to live in Father's love, to follow his voice and depend on him. Consequently they can't do anything that might upset their place in the game, or they'll feel lost. We wire people to their approval needs at a very young age and try to exploit it their whole life long."

"And part of that training includes marginalizing those that don't go along." I let out a deep sign. "I've certainly done that to others. I had no idea how it felt from this side."

"Institutionalism breeds task-based friendships. As long as you're on the same task together, you can be friends. When you're not, people tend to treat you like damaged goods. Now you know what that's like from the other side and one of the big things Jesus is doing in you now is to free you from the game, so that you can live deeply in him rather than worrying about what everyone else thinks about you."

"I've been tortured by that my whole life, John."

*"You're the one who helped me see through organized religion."

"It's one things to see through things and quite another to be against them. That's the game--and I'm not playing."

"Any human system will eventually dehumanize the very people it seeks to serve and those it dehumanizes the most are those who think they lead it."

"I don't care about all that, John. I just want Jim's failure exposed to the world." I could feel my face flush with anger and my hands ball up into angry fists.

"Why are you do angry, Jake?"

*"I never thought of it that way. But I hate it that people think he's so righteous."

"But they only think he is. It's an illusion and while illusions can be powerful, they are still illusions."

"But most people live by those illusions."

"Only because they want to, Jake. I don't want you to. You appear to be the bad guy when you know it isn't true. You appear to be on the verge of financial ruin, but you're not. Never let mere appearances become you're reality."

"But I want others to know the truth, John. Why should they get to live in their illusions?"

"Believing a lie isn't something someone gets to do. It's something they are trapped in."

Another book in the docket to read is called "The Shack". The same friend recommended it. Also, reading "Everything Must Change" by Brian McLaren. Good stuff is afoot!

Courageous...

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."

-Ambrose Redmoon

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."

-Albert Einstein

"You must be the change you want to see in the world."

-Mahatma Gandhi

"She never comprimises,
Loves babies and surprises,
Wears high heels when
She exercises
Ain't it beautuiful
Meet Virginia

Daddy wrestles alligators
Mama works on carborators
Her brother is a fine mediator
For the president
And here she is again on the phone
Just like me hates to be alone
We just like to sit at home
And rip on the President

She only drinks coffee at midnight
When the moment is not right
Her timing is quite, unusual
You see her confidence is tragic, but her
Intuition's magic

Well she wants to be the queen and
Then she thinks about her scene
Well she wants to live her life
Then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the queen"
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna live this!

-"Meet Virginia" by Train

Meet Virginia

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"Ask, and it will be given to you
Seek, and you will find
Knock, and the door will be opened to you."

-Jesus

I'm always amazed at how energized I feel when I take time to process and pursue dreams in my heart. I firmly believe that every person on the planet has seeds of dreams that are rooted deep in their heart. Some of it could be birthed out of their life struggle. Some of it could be birthed out of the uniqueness of the person. The unique DNA. Regardless, when we really get down to what we want and pursue it...we discover life. I believe when the message and reality of God's love and heart for us and all people permeates our hearts and lives, our outlook on ourselves and others changes significantly. Ultimately, I believe we grow in loving. We learn to love all people well. We begin to care about things. We feel whispers in our soul that compel us to care. We have conversations. We have moments in community or nature or in serving others. Something happens. Something that we find hard, if not impossible to quantify, but nevertheless it impacts us. The moment...impacts us. Those moments are dangerous because they tell us that there's more. They are glimpses into "the way things could be". They matter...big time. Likely, even right now as you read this, some of those moments come to mind. They speak to a bigger story. They compel us to take courage and "be" in. They draw our hearts and find them beating. In my experience, the people who are most pursuing their heart and God's dreams in life are the ones who experience those moments the most. I think many of us fight (many in ways we don't fully understand) those moments and do our best to escape incessantly. Everyone needs healthy escapes, but some live too much of their lives trying to....well, you get what I'm trying to say. I would never limit your heart by putting it in a box. I'm sorry if you've quit dreaming because someone else put your heart and dreams in a box. Maybe it's time to look within again. It's likely we'll discover God's heart there. It's time to take the courage to dream again. To voice it...there's power in those words...in hoping...in believing...in dreaming.

Home At Last!

Our tour of "Middle Earth" ended Tuesday night. The total tally was roughly 2200 miles. Left for Louisiana the Friday before Christmas and returned the following Wednesday. Worked at Suture for 2 days and then left for Nebraska on Saturday before New Years. Came back New Years Day. I'm just starting to get back to normalcy. DC is back this Wednesday.

*Got the Planet Earth DVD for Christmas....absolutely amazing.

*Real quickly, books I'm reading or plan to read. "Everything Must Change" by Brian McLaren. Very honest look at what is wrong with Earth socially, politically, financially, and spiritually on a broad scale....and a very inspiring look at making things right..."the kingdom of heaven at hand". "The Shack" is on the horizon to be read. Also watched "Everything is Spiritual" (a DVD of the same-titled speaking tour from Rob Bell) very thought-provoking and affirming stuff. We are building a series for DC around it in February. There you go. I've got a few devo thoughts to put together on here in the days to come.

Am I the Only One...

That smiles with tears while watching this video. Never heard of this band until tonight...saw this concert on MHD. Amazing. Researched alot....great great stuff. Watch it and let me know your thoughts. Captivating music.



The name of the band is Dispatch. Huge independent band...I'm coming to understand. Name of the song is "Elias". Look up the lyrics...really good stuff.