Enough?

"Take your shower, shine your shoes
Well, you got no time to lose
You are young men you must be living
Go now you are forgiven."

-"The General" Dispatch



"It's one of those days, where it's a minute away from snowing and there's electricity in the air.

This bag was just...dancing with me. That's the day I realized that there's this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know that there's no reason to be afraid. Ever."

-"American Beauty"



"The Matrix is a system Neo. You have to understand that most people aren't ready to be unplugged."

-"The Matrix"



"In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was presently originally with God. All things were made and came into existence through Him: and without Him was not even one thing made that has come into being. In Him was Life, and the Life was the Light of men. And the Light shines on in the darkness, for the darkness has never overpowered it.

There it was--the true Light coming into the world that illumines every person."

-John 1:1-5, 9

Jim couldn't get the image out of his head or the shame out of his heart. He kept telling himself that he did the best he knew how to do back then. Was it? No one knew the pain he caused. No one knew the shame he lived with. He went to church every week....not for community...not for love...but to feed the sadistic self-talk that was running amock within him. "God knows....oh yes...He knows, what you've done!" No person could love him if he told them, he thought. God certainly would take that a couple of notches higher on the condemnation scale. "I can't be loved if I'm known." For many years, the same dark place. The worst of it was when the fears paired up. Relationships fail...."It's because of what I've done"....job loss..."I deserve it"...on and on. It's enough to have a drink a bit of "You couldn't love me if you knew me", but add that to "I'm afraid their won't be enough" or worse yet, "I'm afriad I'm not enough"...you can get a deadly poison real quick.

What would happen if Jim found people and a God that genuinely knew him and loved him? What would happen if Jim allowed love and light to illumine those dark places? What are the dark places in your world? Are their things...moments...that, if you're honest you can't imagine really being loved, in light of...maybe "in spite of" but certainly not "in light of"? What do we do with our shame?

There is the constant comparison in the New Testament section of the Bible between love and light. Light of love in our lives brings life. We go on various "value hunts" or "love hunts" in our lives hoping to find something or someone that gives us what we secretly need or think we need. It's interesting to think about why we go on the "hunt" to begin with. It's like there's some magnetic pull deep inside of us to find it. To find love in light of our shame. We have moments and when they happen we remember...we cherish. A look....a kiss....a word....a song....a movie....a place. They speak to something bigger. Something deeper weaving it's way through life. Unfortunately, the same it true on the other end of the scale. Shame...we remember...a look...a word...a song...a place...a person. Here's the deal....When we allow the light of love to enter our lives...to illumine our hearts and minds...ultimately it will encounter shame....and fear...and darkness. I'm convinced gang, that when real love, as in "God is love", meets shame...love wins everytime. Everytime. Love trumps fear. Light expels the darkness. "Love never fails." Ever. Never? Never. May you find the love of God in you and through you in this moment in new ways. May you believe again. May you trust again. Never fails. May you find, in the words of the old song, "the things of this world will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace." Shalom.

Amazing Book...

So I was referred a book recently by a good friend, who said that it was a "paradigm shifter". I'm always up for a good stretch so I dove in. An absolutely hope-giving, heart-opening book. One of the best books I've ever read. Here goes "So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore" by Jake Colson is the name. It's a conversation with a frustrated associate pastor and a spiritual sojourner. Nothing I can say can adequtely describe how good it's done my heart to read this. I'll give a few quotes.

*"But why can't we see how this game is so destructive? Others are being lied to!"

"They don't want to see it Jake. Religious systems prey on people's insecurity. They haven't learned how to live in Father's love, to follow his voice and depend on him. Consequently they can't do anything that might upset their place in the game, or they'll feel lost. We wire people to their approval needs at a very young age and try to exploit it their whole life long."

"And part of that training includes marginalizing those that don't go along." I let out a deep sign. "I've certainly done that to others. I had no idea how it felt from this side."

"Institutionalism breeds task-based friendships. As long as you're on the same task together, you can be friends. When you're not, people tend to treat you like damaged goods. Now you know what that's like from the other side and one of the big things Jesus is doing in you now is to free you from the game, so that you can live deeply in him rather than worrying about what everyone else thinks about you."

"I've been tortured by that my whole life, John."

*"You're the one who helped me see through organized religion."

"It's one things to see through things and quite another to be against them. That's the game--and I'm not playing."

"Any human system will eventually dehumanize the very people it seeks to serve and those it dehumanizes the most are those who think they lead it."

"I don't care about all that, John. I just want Jim's failure exposed to the world." I could feel my face flush with anger and my hands ball up into angry fists.

"Why are you do angry, Jake?"

*"I never thought of it that way. But I hate it that people think he's so righteous."

"But they only think he is. It's an illusion and while illusions can be powerful, they are still illusions."

"But most people live by those illusions."

"Only because they want to, Jake. I don't want you to. You appear to be the bad guy when you know it isn't true. You appear to be on the verge of financial ruin, but you're not. Never let mere appearances become you're reality."

"But I want others to know the truth, John. Why should they get to live in their illusions?"

"Believing a lie isn't something someone gets to do. It's something they are trapped in."

Another book in the docket to read is called "The Shack". The same friend recommended it. Also, reading "Everything Must Change" by Brian McLaren. Good stuff is afoot!

Courageous...

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."

-Ambrose Redmoon

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."

-Albert Einstein

"You must be the change you want to see in the world."

-Mahatma Gandhi

"She never comprimises,
Loves babies and surprises,
Wears high heels when
She exercises
Ain't it beautuiful
Meet Virginia

Daddy wrestles alligators
Mama works on carborators
Her brother is a fine mediator
For the president
And here she is again on the phone
Just like me hates to be alone
We just like to sit at home
And rip on the President

She only drinks coffee at midnight
When the moment is not right
Her timing is quite, unusual
You see her confidence is tragic, but her
Intuition's magic

Well she wants to be the queen and
Then she thinks about her scene
Well she wants to live her life
Then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the queen"
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna live this!

-"Meet Virginia" by Train

Meet Virginia

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"Ask, and it will be given to you
Seek, and you will find
Knock, and the door will be opened to you."

-Jesus

I'm always amazed at how energized I feel when I take time to process and pursue dreams in my heart. I firmly believe that every person on the planet has seeds of dreams that are rooted deep in their heart. Some of it could be birthed out of their life struggle. Some of it could be birthed out of the uniqueness of the person. The unique DNA. Regardless, when we really get down to what we want and pursue it...we discover life. I believe when the message and reality of God's love and heart for us and all people permeates our hearts and lives, our outlook on ourselves and others changes significantly. Ultimately, I believe we grow in loving. We learn to love all people well. We begin to care about things. We feel whispers in our soul that compel us to care. We have conversations. We have moments in community or nature or in serving others. Something happens. Something that we find hard, if not impossible to quantify, but nevertheless it impacts us. The moment...impacts us. Those moments are dangerous because they tell us that there's more. They are glimpses into "the way things could be". They matter...big time. Likely, even right now as you read this, some of those moments come to mind. They speak to a bigger story. They compel us to take courage and "be" in. They draw our hearts and find them beating. In my experience, the people who are most pursuing their heart and God's dreams in life are the ones who experience those moments the most. I think many of us fight (many in ways we don't fully understand) those moments and do our best to escape incessantly. Everyone needs healthy escapes, but some live too much of their lives trying to....well, you get what I'm trying to say. I would never limit your heart by putting it in a box. I'm sorry if you've quit dreaming because someone else put your heart and dreams in a box. Maybe it's time to look within again. It's likely we'll discover God's heart there. It's time to take the courage to dream again. To voice it...there's power in those words...in hoping...in believing...in dreaming.

Home At Last!

Our tour of "Middle Earth" ended Tuesday night. The total tally was roughly 2200 miles. Left for Louisiana the Friday before Christmas and returned the following Wednesday. Worked at Suture for 2 days and then left for Nebraska on Saturday before New Years. Came back New Years Day. I'm just starting to get back to normalcy. DC is back this Wednesday.

*Got the Planet Earth DVD for Christmas....absolutely amazing.

*Real quickly, books I'm reading or plan to read. "Everything Must Change" by Brian McLaren. Very honest look at what is wrong with Earth socially, politically, financially, and spiritually on a broad scale....and a very inspiring look at making things right..."the kingdom of heaven at hand". "The Shack" is on the horizon to be read. Also watched "Everything is Spiritual" (a DVD of the same-titled speaking tour from Rob Bell) very thought-provoking and affirming stuff. We are building a series for DC around it in February. There you go. I've got a few devo thoughts to put together on here in the days to come.

Am I the Only One...

That smiles with tears while watching this video. Never heard of this band until tonight...saw this concert on MHD. Amazing. Researched alot....great great stuff. Watch it and let me know your thoughts. Captivating music.



The name of the band is Dispatch. Huge independent band...I'm coming to understand. Name of the song is "Elias". Look up the lyrics...really good stuff.