Enough?

"Take your shower, shine your shoes
Well, you got no time to lose
You are young men you must be living
Go now you are forgiven."

-"The General" Dispatch



"It's one of those days, where it's a minute away from snowing and there's electricity in the air.

This bag was just...dancing with me. That's the day I realized that there's this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know that there's no reason to be afraid. Ever."

-"American Beauty"



"The Matrix is a system Neo. You have to understand that most people aren't ready to be unplugged."

-"The Matrix"



"In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was presently originally with God. All things were made and came into existence through Him: and without Him was not even one thing made that has come into being. In Him was Life, and the Life was the Light of men. And the Light shines on in the darkness, for the darkness has never overpowered it.

There it was--the true Light coming into the world that illumines every person."

-John 1:1-5, 9

Jim couldn't get the image out of his head or the shame out of his heart. He kept telling himself that he did the best he knew how to do back then. Was it? No one knew the pain he caused. No one knew the shame he lived with. He went to church every week....not for community...not for love...but to feed the sadistic self-talk that was running amock within him. "God knows....oh yes...He knows, what you've done!" No person could love him if he told them, he thought. God certainly would take that a couple of notches higher on the condemnation scale. "I can't be loved if I'm known." For many years, the same dark place. The worst of it was when the fears paired up. Relationships fail...."It's because of what I've done"....job loss..."I deserve it"...on and on. It's enough to have a drink a bit of "You couldn't love me if you knew me", but add that to "I'm afraid their won't be enough" or worse yet, "I'm afriad I'm not enough"...you can get a deadly poison real quick.

What would happen if Jim found people and a God that genuinely knew him and loved him? What would happen if Jim allowed love and light to illumine those dark places? What are the dark places in your world? Are their things...moments...that, if you're honest you can't imagine really being loved, in light of...maybe "in spite of" but certainly not "in light of"? What do we do with our shame?

There is the constant comparison in the New Testament section of the Bible between love and light. Light of love in our lives brings life. We go on various "value hunts" or "love hunts" in our lives hoping to find something or someone that gives us what we secretly need or think we need. It's interesting to think about why we go on the "hunt" to begin with. It's like there's some magnetic pull deep inside of us to find it. To find love in light of our shame. We have moments and when they happen we remember...we cherish. A look....a kiss....a word....a song....a movie....a place. They speak to something bigger. Something deeper weaving it's way through life. Unfortunately, the same it true on the other end of the scale. Shame...we remember...a look...a word...a song...a place...a person. Here's the deal....When we allow the light of love to enter our lives...to illumine our hearts and minds...ultimately it will encounter shame....and fear...and darkness. I'm convinced gang, that when real love, as in "God is love", meets shame...love wins everytime. Everytime. Love trumps fear. Light expels the darkness. "Love never fails." Ever. Never? Never. May you find the love of God in you and through you in this moment in new ways. May you believe again. May you trust again. Never fails. May you find, in the words of the old song, "the things of this world will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace." Shalom.