Friction, Clothes, and Hope

"'The darkness hides the true size of fears and lies and regrets,' Jesus explained.' 'The truth is they are more shadow than reality, so they seem bigger in the dark. When the light shines into the places they live inside you, you start to see them for what they are.'

'But why do we keep all that crap inside?' Mack asked.

'Because we believe it's safer there. And, sometimes, when you're a kid trying to survive, it really is safer there. Then you grow up on the outside, but on the inside you're still that kid in the dark cave surrounded by monsters, and out of habit you keep adding to you collection. We all collect things we value, you know?'

'So, how does that change, you know, for somebody who's lost in the dark like me?'

'Most often, pretty slowly,' Jesus answered. 'Remember, you can't do it alone. Some folks try with all kinds of coping mechanisms and mental games. But the monsters are still there, just waiting for the chance to come out.'

'So what do I do know?'

'What you're alread doing, Mack, learning to live loved. It's not an eas concept for humans.'"

-taken from "The Shack" by William Young

"But this won't work as well as the way it once did
cuz I want to decide between survival and bliss
and though I know who I'm not I still don't know who I am
but I know I won't keep on playing the victim

These precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I was a kid
and parting with them is like parting with a childhood best friend

I've spent so long firmly looking outside me
I've spent so much time living in survival mode."

-"Precious Illusions" by Alanis Morisette



We spend so much time talking about things that don't really matter...that don't really change us...that don't really change our relationships...that don't really change how we see God...how we see others...how we see ourselves. Have you ever been in a season of friction and gone to a place, maybe a church, and you hear the same thing again and you leave thinking..."Is anyone talking about what's really going on in my life? In people's lives?"

Sometimes it can seem that the things that really matter are the style of our car, the type of clothes, the job status, how well we are seen in a religious community, etc. It can seem that way. If we listen enough, we can come to believe that those are the things that matter. Yet when you really talk to people and you talk about this (friction)...you know that for nearly everyone there is stuff deeper. Beneath the surface.

What is the friction? We know it's there. We know, in some part, how it affects us. What is it?

In letters to people in the cities of Ephesus and Colossae, Paul talks about beneath the surface stuff. He describes them like clothes that we wear. Put off...put away things that don't work. Ways of doing life that don't give life...that don't work.

*Bitterness (Thick...heavy...deep...the root of a plant was the picture...somebody hurt me...somebody lied about me...I've lived with it for years...it shows if you really know what to look for...bitterness...rooted deep within)

*Anger (Not the healthy, "innocent kids are dying" anger...but it's the "I don't really like my life but I can't say it" anger...I don't want to deal with my stuff so I lash out at others...often those I say I "love" the most...rage even sometimes...anger)

*Slander (Seems innocent..."Oh I didn't really mean it...smile...attack with words defensively...never to the person themselves...subtlely...smile to their face..."I'm doing great"....if anger is cutting someone down actively...slander is passively)

*Unforgivness ("I'll never forgive you for what you did! You ruined my life!"...very...strong...words...you may secretly cultivate malice or deep ill-will toward someone...to the point that if you found out they were injured in an accident...it wouldn't affect you...but it does affect you...you know it does...that's why it's so hard to talk about this...why would it be hard to talk about if it weren't a player in your life...doesn't mean forget or okaying something...forgive...release...)

Know what it's like to wear these? We do our best to hide it...but we wear it.

How much have these "clothes" limited your life? Kept out love?

The real question is...deep down...what do I wish I were wearing? Maybe it's peace. Maybe it's confidence. Maybe it's forgivness. Maybe it's purpose. Maybe it's joy. Are the "clothes" I'm wearing giving life to me and others or taking life from me and others? What would it be like to wear the "clothes" we want to wear? The words we want to believe. The heart. It's hard to think about living in the land of forgiving, if you're lived all of your life and built your home in the country of bitterness.