Blessed Friction...Dos

"Have no fear
For giving in
Have no fear
For getting over
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Then never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open... wide...

Say what you need to say."

-John Mayer "Say"



"Most birds were created to fly. Being grounded for them is a limitation within their ability to fly, not the other way around."

"You, on the other hand, were created to be loved. So for you to live as if you were unloved is a limitation, not the other way around."

"Living unloved is like clipping a bird's wings and removing it's ability to fly. Not something I want for you." There's the rub Mack didn't feel particularly loved at the moment.

"Mack, pain has a way of clipping our wings and keeping us from being able to fly. And if left unresolved for very long, you can almost forget that you were ever created to fly in the first place.

-from "The Shack" by William Young

*Tom could feel it building for years. It seemed that he has successfully masked the depths inside for much of his life. For whatever reasons lately, in the past 2 years, it was harder and harder. Maybe it was when his wife told him how "she didn't want to do life like that anymore". Maybe it was when he would find himself in his car crying on his way to work. Maybe it was the mask of indifference he wore everytime he saw a picture of his dad. If you could see Tom's life over a period of time...you could see it...you could feel it...building...building...friction...building...anger...building. The janitor at work had no idea that he would, unfortunately, provide the avenue for years of anger and frustration with 1 misplaced mopstroke. The real question was what would happen with Tom now. Would he dive into the why? Would he retreat and defend even more?

*Laura grew up in church, she knew the answer to the questions. The questions were bigger than the answers she knew though. In fact, the answers weren't suffice. Deep down, thought she wouldn't know to say it, there was a draw a "calling" if you will that there's a bigger story than what she'd been told. A bigger God. A bigger love. A bigger life. More real. More authentic. More human. More...faith. Everytime she went back to her home church she felt the friction. Everytime she heard certain songs or certain phrases by, likely, well-meaning people...friction. Almost, intrinsically, she knew what rang true with her soul and she knew what didn't. She knew the shame, fear, and hiding that what she grew up learning about God has led her too. She would never go there again. She didn't want anyone else to either. She happened across a few books that peaked her interest and she started having conversations with a couple of people who spoke like they had been through the exact season of faith friction she was in. It was really tough...good things were around the corner.

Beneath the religion. Beneath the tradition. Beneath the "because we always have". The friction is there. The questions are there. The road to life...real life...abundant life is there. It's okay to be afraid. Just know that no matter where you are. No matter what friction you're dealing with or have dealt with or will deal with in your life, you can be honest about it and walk through it because you are loved. Loved no matter what. Period. Talk with people about the friction in your life you've walked through. Your story. You never know the value others may find in it. Talk with people about the friction you are currently living with. You never know the value you may find in others story or perspective.

Great Interview with Robert Downey Jr.

"I think of myself as a shopkeeper or a beekeeper. I'm learning the business of building a life. Instead of getting instant gratification by getting high, I push my nose as far into the grindstone as I can. The honey, the reward, is the feeling of well-being, the continuity, the sense that I am walking toward a place I want to go."

http://news.yahoo.com/page/parade-rdj/rdj

Lyrics...

Completely random stuff here. Everytime I hear this song it brings a smile. Incredibly creative lyrics. You "meet Virginia". Hard to beat "her confidence is tragic, but her intuition's magic". Great stuff. Feel free to post a comment on these lyrics or your faves.

"She doesn't own a dress
Her hair is always a mess,
You catch her stealin' she won't confess
She's Beautiful.

Smokes a pack a day, but wait,
That's me, but anyway
She doesn't care a thing
About that hair,
She thinks I'm beautiful
Meet Virginia

She never comprimises,
Loves babies and surprises,
wears high heels when
she exercises
Ain't it beautuiful
Meet Virginia

Well she wants to be the Queen
Then she thinks about her scene
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the Queen"

Daddy wrestles alligators
Mama works on carborators
Her brother is a fine mediator
For the president
And here she is again on the phone
just like me hates to be alone
we just like to sit at home
and rip on the President
Meet Virginia, Mmmm...

Well she wants to live her life
Then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back, as she screams
"I don't really wanna live this life"

She only drinks coffee at midnight
When the moment is not right
Her timing is quite, unusual
You see her confidence is tragic, but her
Intuition magic And the shape of her body?
Unusual

Meet Virgina I can't wait to
Meet Virginia, yeah e yeah hey hey hey

Well she wants to be the queen and
then she thinks about her scene
Well she wants to live her life
then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the queen"
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna live this"

-"Meet Virginia" by Train

Blessed Friction and the Heart of the Matter

"And you are reaching
Something that is beating
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before
Over and again
Racing out of my skin
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before
Til I noticed you, yeah."

"Noticed" by Mute Math



"He who has ears to hear, let him hear."

-Jesus

We don't change until the friction of the present is greater than the fear of the future. Countries don't change until the friction of the present is greater than the fear of the future. People don't change until....Families don't change until...I don't change until the friction of the present if greater than the fear of the future. We each have stories rooted in this reality. We each have been in season or moments in our lives where the friction is building...we know it. Maybe we believe we can't acknowledge it. The friction doesn't have to be similar in people. In fact one person's friction can be another person's future. At the end of the day, if we're honest with ourselves...we know what is...and we know what isn't.

Jesus was amazing a bringing awareness to this in people. He knew and valued the reality of friction for change in lives. Sometimes he would simply state what was "obvious" in lives. Other times he initiated friction in people and governments and empires. It's not a matter of friction in our lives...the question is what do we do when the friction builds and builds. What do you do? Do you walk through it?

Some people spend their entire lives running from questions...from friction. Why are you so angry? What do you feel like you're losing in forgiving? Why do you continue to enable people to abuse you (physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.)? What are you afriad of? Why do you believe God believes that about you?

We can spend so much time talking about things that may not really be the things that really matter. The things that give life to us and others. The things that give freedom to us and others. It's been my experience that real life happens in the friction and the "life after walking through the friction" moments. If you've been through it...you know. Maybe you find yourself right there....right now. Maybe you found yourself there recently...a year ago...a month ago...2 years ago...and you know...you know. Maybe you have been angry or bitter or whatever for a long time...maybe you can't remember the last time that you experienced a season of life...a literal season...of...life....of love. But maybe deep down the thought that "I don't have to live like this" has not died. The fire still flickers.

Whatever the case we're diving in over the next 6-7 weeks at DC. Blessed friction and the heart of the matter is what we're calling the "dive". We'll look at these realities and more in our own lives. The hope is that life would happen. Love would happen. Awakening would happen. Hearts would beat. Hope would happen. I will be teaching most nights. Dr. Paul Fitzgerald (www.heartconnexion.org) will be teaching the last few nights in April. We're diving in. Details are below. Anyone is welcome.

DC
Series: "Blessed Friction and the Heart of the Matter"
When: Wednesday Nights (7-8:30 PM)
Where: Henry Home (14606 S. Alden)

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"Shack"ing Up

Beautiful quote for the day from "The Shack" by William Young (which currently holds the "best book I've ever read" title in my world)!

"If anything matters then everything matters. Because you are important, everything you do is important. Every time you forgive, the universe changes; every time you reach out and touch a heart or a life, the world changes; with every kindness and service, seen or unseen, my purposes are accomplished and nothing will ever be the same again."

Random videos for you!

"What in the name of me is going on in here!"



"'Tell me are you a Christian, child?'
I said, 'Mam, I am tonight.'"

Great Song.

Marc Cohn - Walking in Memphis

Hide and Seek...

"The man and his wife were both naked and unashamed."

-Genesis 2:25

So we find in the Genesis story, that Adam and his wife (no mention of a ceremony...interestingly) Eve were originally naked and unashamed. They were created that way. There were 2 "named" trees with fruit. You got the "tree of the knowledge of good and evil" (fascinating stuff, the desire to label things good and evil)...and the "tree of life". I could spend a good bit of time talking about how we still choose the "good and evil" tree today in so many ways over life. Nevertheless, God says...you can have any tree...but the "good and evil" one...you will die...something in you will die. Serpent comes along and frames the story differently from God. He also frames the choices differently. "You won't die. You'll actually have your eyes opened. You'll be more alive." Interesting. Eve believed the serpent...took the "good/evil" fruit and ate it and passed it onto Adam. The Genesis story then says that they "eyes of them both were opened"...which is what the serpent promised...but that they "knew that they were naked" and they "sewed fig leaves together" and made "apronlike girdles". Amazing. They hide. Eventually, God comes walking around and they hide behind trees. Fig leaves with each other...trees with God (thicker I suppose). Adam says "I heard the sound of you walking around in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked...so I hid." Fear. Shame. Hiding. Lies. It's all there. We see it flesh out not just in the Genesis story but in life.

I'm afraid...of what you'll think...of what you'll do...of what you think about me...that you won't love me...that you won't accept me...that you'll act like you love me but talk about me behind by back and I can't trust you. I'm ashamed...of what I've done...who I think I am...you couldn't love me...I'm human...I've been hurt...I've hurt people...I'm ashamed....I'm defective...I'm not enough.

"I know the truth about me."

"If you really knew me, you wouldn't love me."

"I'm not worth it."

"I have to acquire value. I have to acquire acceptance."

So we hide...in our work...in our abusive drinking...in our drug abuse... in our sarcasm...in our religious activity...in our words...in someone else's life...in our secret relationships...sometimes in our smiles...on and on and on. It's a game we learn as kids but perfect as adults.

I'm coming to believe that the heart of the message of Christ is to invite people out of hiding into life. God is inviting people our of darkness into light. Out of lies into truth. Out of death into life. Out of the system of fear and shame and chains into freedom and love...real love. The kind of love that brings freedom and casts out fear.

"You will know the truth and the truth will set you free."

-Jesus

The cool thing is that we are becoming people who encourage others out of hiding by journeying down that road ourselves or we are becoming people who, often without knowing it, encourage people to hide, by not journeying down that road ourselves. Are I connected with people and places that encourage me and enlighten me to come out of hiding? That's a pivotal question. It's not a solitary moment...it's a journey. If you find yourself in the blessed friction of that place, you gotta know, you're not alone. You never have been alone. You never will be alone. God is always with you, of course, but there are so many others who are finding life by...strangely...giving up the game and calling it the load of crap that it is. That it's not what God's doing in this world...in fact it's what God is undoing in the world to ultimately make things right.

It's in that journey that we find the way we see the world changes. The way we see God changes. The way we believe God sees us changes. The way we believe God sees everyone changes...for the better...on all accounts. We begin to see what is real...what has always been true. We take off the shades we've been see things through and hiding behind to find a world of "beloveds" who may or may not know that reality. We find color. We find beauty. We find love. We find life. It all starts when we decide we don't want to play the game anymore...we want to play for real.

You

"She said 'If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see'
She said 'Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me'

-Lifehouse "Whatever It Takes"



"Evey Hammond: Who are you?
V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a mask.
Evey Hammond: Well I can see that.
V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation, I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is."

-from the movie "V for Vendetta"

"Love your neighbor as yourself."

-Jesus (Matthew 22:39)





The truth is that it was just a breakup...but it felt like so much more. "Just a breakup!". She thinks. Jonie put her world into him. She didn't feel like she mattered until she met him. The fact that he didn't treat her well was beside the point. She mattered now. He mattered to people. She was with him. She mattered to people. The real truth was...she didn't matter to him. The question "Who am I?" was so lost....in a thick fog.

Tony was a great athlete. A fierce fighter. Every time he knocked out some other hopeless boxer, he could feel the anger from the punches he took when he was younger. He knew then, it was either him...or his mom...or his younger sister. His dad has pursued healing roads and had softened up immensely. It make Tony even more angry. His career was taking off...his heart was leather...his wife knew the real truth and often paid for it. The pulse of forgivness was beating deep beneath the leather veneer of his heart. "What was he like before the anger?" He wondered privately. "Who am I?" swam below the surface.

How much energy have I spent in my life at "impression management"? Why did I do it? I didn't like what God made. The truth is that I'm still coming to value the creation of me. It's a process. On clear days, I'm confident, light-hearted, and loving. On foggy days, I'm timid, unsure, and second guessing myself. I've had clearer days lately. I've noticed that the comparison road is a subtle one. It can start as a suggestion on a foggy day and lead to a personal melt-down. I think that road can vary for each person. What I'm learning is that it matters immensely to not give life to those voices that would dare to compare. God doesn't want me to be anything or anyone other that me...the real me. Beneath the crap...the lies...the veneer...the layers...whatever it is for you...God wants you to be you. That's how things are supposed to work. I'm supposed to be me. You're supposed to be you. Jesus is supposed to be fully Jesus (which He was). Jonie is supposed to be Jonie. Tony is supposed to be the real Tony. The eternal idea is that when you are you...you make things better. Life happens. Light happens. Love happens.

I hear so many stories of people who've been told that God is in the clone-making business. That they should be the prototype. The way they dress. The way they talk. The way they sneeze. Yada...yada...yada. How freaking boring and uncreative! Jesus was truly himself and he lived 30 years as a son and an obscure carpenter. He spent 3 years telling people, in his way, about who God really was and showing them. A lot of people who thought they had God figured out didn't like it or him...they ultimately killed him.

May you be who you truly are! May you work through all of the things in life that have been built on your heart of body or life that would make that journey of discovery harder. May you surround yourself with people and community who bring the real you...out. May you begin to ask how things would change in the world if you were yourself. May you quit playing the comparison game. The truth is no one wins in the comparison game...no one. Everyone gets devalued. Period. May you realize what God realized then and still belives today when He said "It is good!"

"We are the ones we've been waiting for."

-Barack Obama

"Evey Hammond: I don't want you to die.
V: That's the most beautiful thing you could have ever given me."

-from the movie "V for Vendetta"